Monday, December 31, 2012

Coming clean...

I've had another bout of no-blogging-itis.  I had a lot on my mind and was swirling about and ultimately went back and forth and just didn't prioritize blogging. 

But I think I'm back again.  Well, hopefully anyway.

I've alluded to something that's been going on in my life in quite a few posts in the past few months.  I've circled around it.  I've implied it.  But I've never actually admitted it.  I think I'm ready.

I'm getting divorced.

Yes, it's happening.  It was my decision.  My choice.  But that hasn't made it any easier to deal with.

I feel like a huge failure.  I feel awful for hurting loved ones.  I feel horrible that my daughter and my marriage is now just another statistic.  Honestly, in the short term - it completely sucks.

But I had to think of the long term.  I wasn't happy.  I wasn't reaching my potential.  I take the blame. I take the fault.

Long term I want to be happy.  And it's important to me that my daughter sees me as a strong female role model who shows her how to be happy and achieve her dreams.  That's what is important to me right now.

So please be patient with me while I try to pick up the pieces of my life.  I'm trying to do the best I can with what I have.  I'll try to blog about it when I can.  But we will see.

So, now that proverbially the elephant in the room has been talked about, perhaps I will feel like I can move on and talk more about what's going on with me and how I'm continuing to try to be a fitter mommy.

Here's wishing everyone a wonderful 2013!  Farewell to 2012!


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