Friday, August 19, 2011

And walking, and walking...

I thought my last post might inspire a few comments...but alas no.  I have one follower - Hi R!  Hopefully you're reading my posts when I post...for the rest of you "lurkers"...follow me already.  Make me feel good.

Anyway.  So I was a good little trying to be fit mommy and remembered my pedometer today.  Guess who got to 10K steps again?  This girl!!!  Yay!  I ran again at lunch.  I really pushed myself in the beginning and got more distance in.  But it was hot and humid, so I took the rest of the run really easy and did a lot more walking.  Finished up my running area and was only at around 5,500 steps, so I took the long loop again and walked more. 

It's so funny - I still find myself trying to find excuses not to run or to just walk, but I think this blog and having bad days thinking about myself really keep me going.  I really hope the more I do this, the more of a habit it becomes vs. feeling like work...still don't have a plan for cooler weather and rain for getting in the 10K steps...I guess I could walk around all the floors of the building and explore...

Did well eating today despite my high stress level and anxiety and the little G being a cranky face tonight and this morning.  Lots of veggies.  I really need to get to the farmer's market tomorrow though - running very low on produce in the house and need more selection.  Plus I'm way overdue for a grocery shopping trip.  It's sure easier to eat healthy and plan meals in advance when you have a lot more on hand.

Still finding that I'm really thirsty.  Now that I'm getting in more exercise, I'm drinking a lot more - way more than 64 ounces.  But I feel better and my skin is starting to not look so my like a teenager's.

Until next time,

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Just keep walking...

Wow...I'm kind of sad I got no love for meeting my comments congratulating me?  :(  I think I need more followers or something.  Follow me people...comment.  Keep me accountable!  If not, it's just me and I'm not sure how long I'll keep it up if I don't feel like I'm impressing someone or someone is actually interested in what I have to say.

Anywho - so the day after meeting my goal, I not only met my goal again, but surprised it with an impressive 12,600+ steps.  I know, I know - I deserve an award or something.  It was actually easier than the day before - I just made sure to make more trips up and down the stairs - had to keep up my hydration you know since I was working out more and burning more calories, I'm apparently needing more water since I'm rather thirsty all day.

Then rather than running (I'm taking two days off between running days to heal appropriately), I decided to talk a couple of walks.  It was rather nice out so I got in two walks.  Very nice.  Then I came home and ran around with the kiddo.  Fun times!

Unfortunately for me, today I forgot my pedometer at home so I was forced to try and gauge my steps myself.  I didn't get to go up and down the stairs as much as I wanted, so I took a longer walk than normal after working on some stressful projects at work.  I then came home and ran around with the kiddo some more.  I don't think I got 12,000 steps and I'm not even sure about the 10,000, but I feel pretty good.  And got in way more steps than I would have just a few days ago.

Of course, I didn't eat as well today as I could have, but I'm getting better.  I feel like I have really good eating days and some not so good, but I'd still like to think I eat better than a lot of people most days so that follows my 80/20 rule and works for me.

Until next time,

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Walk the walk...

I guys have been waiting all day for my  updates...First off, I apologize, I was too crazed at work and spent my free time walking instead of blogging.

So, by 10 am I thought I was off to a good start - already up to 2,500 steps or so.  Unfortunately, I got stuck on a conference call for two hours so by noon I was only up to 3,000 steps.  Seemed pretty pathetic since by that point I had walked up to the fourth floor using the stairs already three times and down two times in addition to the walk in the building since I parked in the back of the lot.  Yikes...

So, I also decided today would be a good day to jump back into running - figured that would help my stress level and get my step count up right?  So according to my trail was about 1.2 miles - the one I normally run/walk.  I pushed myself harder than normal and as I got towards the end I checked the pedometer...big yikes...not even up to 6,000 steps...So I decided to do a longer loop and walked most of the way and ran a tiny bit more.  By the time I went in I was up to 8,000 steps.

Went up and down the stairs two more times - had to get water. :)  Gotta keep up that hydration.

By the time I left work I was up to 9,600!  Yay!

Get home, run down to the garden with G to pick some veggies - gotta keep eating healthy right?  Run around with her a while.

Just now sat down to blog and update...



Not only did I finally meet my goal of 10,000, I actually achieved my stretch goal of 11,000.  And I'm pooped. 

I think I pushed myself too far though...I'm in quite a bit of pain.  My knees and ankles hurt.

It was quite challenging to get to 10,000.  I'm really surprised how much work it was.  If I don't run, I figure it will take quite a bit of effort, we'll see though.  Hopefully I'll be able to keep it up.

Ironically, with the extra running and hydration today, I found myself craving, yellow, red.  So I added cauliflower, broccoli, and yellow squash to my dinner tonight.  Then I was still craving red so I made a small dish with red sauce.  So I definitely got my veggies in between that and lunch.

Fruit is a bit lacking I'm going to go have a small bowl of ice cream for dairy and some strawberries and walnuts.  Mmmm, mmm good.

Until next time,

Monday, August 15, 2011

Time to step it up

So thanks to a new reader/old friend, I realized it's time for me to step it up again.  I've been focusing way too much lately on eating rather than physical fitness which was more my original intent.

So I'm back...

The stress I've been under lately and the busy work life due to the markets has kept me from the physical side of things...which ironically has added more stress.  So I need to find a way to get back into it more.

So I wanted to do a post about walking today.  Taking a few more steps a day can quickly help you change your habits.

Have you ever heard the ol' 10,000 steps a day thing?  Yeah, I like that idea.  I always figured I was making it easy...I mean, I take the stairs (I work on the 4th floor of a building), park in the back of the lot, etc.  But when I actually strapped on a pedometer, I was sorely mistaken.

Let me back up a minute though.

Where did the 10,000 step marker come from?  I've seen different tales to this and it seems no one really knows for sure why that number was picked other than it's easy to remember.  For the average person, this would equate to about five miles a day apparently (learned that by googling...this seemed like a helpful site:

I know I'm not the only one to find that reaching 10K steps isn't as easy as you'd think.  I read a "Parenting" article from an old edition about a doctor who decided to put a pedometer on his son to see how many steps his son was taking.  It just so happened when they did this, they were at Disney World.  The first day - 30,000 steps.  Second day - 23,000 steps.  Then they got home.  First day back to school - should get plenty of exercise right?? Wrong - 2,300 steps.  He quickly realized his son had a very short recess due to the time lining up, etc. and then spent most of his time sitting in a desk.  How scary!

So back to me...

So I got a pedometer for Mother's Day.  Well actually, it was an iPod, but I use the pedometer tool most.  I decided being the positive, competitive person I am, I'd set my daily goal for 11,000 steps a day.  Ha ha.  Easy right?  Nope.

The closest I've ever come is 9,200.  And that wasn't one of the days I ran...nope.  It was a random Saturday that I spent chasing G around the house.  Average work day, if I hit 5,000 steps I'm lucky.  When I run, close to 7,500.  Yep, I feel pretty pathetic.

I do a lot of stuff to increase my step count too...small stuff that should add up.  Apparently I need to step it up though.  For beginners or those up for the challenge, here's a few ideas:
1) Park in the back of the garage/parking lot etc. so you have to walk farther to get where you are going
2) Take the stairs - might be slow at first, but it will get easier, I promise.  I'm living proof.
3) Get up and get a drink of water - walk there. :)  It gets you more water, gets you away from your work area, and you are walking more.

That's a few things.  Give it a shot.

My big challenge for you - put on a pedometer, see where you are at and then try and reach a goal.

I plan to really pump myself up and plug in the iPod to charge it and I've got 10K steps as a goal for tomorrow...come hell or high water. 

I'll try and post updates tomorrow if I can.  Wish me luck.


Sunday, August 14, 2011

Emotional eating

Hi, my name is Amber. Sometimes I'm an emotional eater.

Admitting it is the first step right?

Seriously though, we've had a rough week in the Grasso household. I don't want to get into details, but needless to say, I'm stressed beyond belief. I normally handle stress pretty darn well, but this week, I think it's just too much at one time. The straw that broke the camel's back I guess.

And to top off all the stress, I didn't even get to run to release it because things were so crazy at work with the market volatility and the weather was a little weird. Looks like the weather will hinder me for a few more days too...hopefully I'll get in a run or two later in the week.

Anyway...back on topic.

Emotional eating. I think emotional eating is what drives a lot of people to make unhealthy choices. So, now that I'm trying to be fitter, I'm trying to at least eat healthier when I'm emotional eating. I mean, let's face it...if I say I'll stop...that won't happen...I better be more realistic...small steps...small steps.

So after the wonderfully crap-tastic day I've had today...started at 3:30 am when the baby woke up...and stayed up until 5:30, only to wake for the day at 7 and then take little to no naps today and just be fussy, cranky, and naughty today - the rain keeping us cooped up didn't help...I think I just had it. So at 8 pm after sitting in her room for almost 45 minutes to get her to FINALLY fall asleep (and so help me God if she wakes up at 330 this morning again...), all I could think of was the chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream in the had my name on it.

The old (unfit) Amber would have gone downstairs and made a HUGE bowl of ice cream - like 4-5 or maybe even six scoops.

I decided to try and make it healthier though. I originally intended on one scoop...but then went for two...shame shame shame. Small steps...Anyway. I then added on top four cut up strawberries, walnuts, and some dark chocolate (couldn't resist). So instead of just fattening (wonderful) ice cream, I got a serving (or more) of fruit, some good protein and fats from the nuts, and well, some flavonals and antioxidants from my dark chocolate. Plus, as any good chocolate aficionado knows, you have to eat dark chocolate slowly and save it.

So this helped me eat slowly, and more healthy. I still got to appease that emotional twinge, but I added in some good vitamins and nutrients into it. That's better than nothing right? Don't be hating...don't be all judgy, mcjudgy and go all "You shouldn't have eaten at all...". I think that would lead to binging. Not me. See my previous post on Indulgences.

So that's my little (win?)/tip for the day - if you are going to emotional eat, try and realize it and minimize your portion and add in some nutrients so you aren't eating a boat load of junk.

Until next time,

Friday, August 12, 2011

Healthier eating - can you train yourself to crave healthy foods?

Read an interesting article on CNN recently.  Find the full post here.

Basically the articles says most of us crave unhealthy, fatty goods due to evolutionary traits that haven't disappeared - IE - Our ancestors spent most of their time hunting for food so eating foods high in fat was good for them since they burned a lot more calories and didn't have food as readily available as we do today.

However, since things have changed and we are significantly more sedentary and have food essentially at our fingertips (in this country anyway), this leads to many people over indulging in high-fat, unhealthy foods...thus, you crave foods like chocolate, bacon, ice cream, etc. instead of salad, strawberries, and other healthy foods.  Most people anyway.

But according to this article we can take over and change the way our brains work so we can crave healthier foods.

I really like this idea.  At quick glance I was like...NO WAY.  Never gonna happen.  Besides...chocolate will forever hold a place in my heart.  But then I think about it more and realize...I bet this is why lately, no matter how many green beans I eat, I still want more.  And more, and more.  And I find myself craving salads and healthier foods.  See, I've been increasingly cutting out processed foods and eating more and more produce and whole grains.  Chocolate though..yeah, still eating it every day...because have I told you lately...I LOVE CHOCOLATE.

Okay Amber, moving on.  Back on track.  Healthy eating.

I really think that eating more healthy foods can help retrain your brain into thinking more about healthier foods.  Don't worry...I have no intention of giving up chocolate anytime soon - as I mentioned, it's my indulgence and I'm okay with that as long as I eat healthy otherwise.

I don't know how I feel about wedging your craving food in the middle.  I guess that could help initially to get people to eat healthier...but I'm thinking that you're better off learning some self control and keeping your indulgence as a reward for eating healthy.  That's just me though.

What are your thoughts on this?  Can we retrain our brains to crave healthy food vs. fatty foods?  Seeing that I'm craving green beans and okra right now...(Instead of chocolate ironically), I'm thinking its possible.  Then again, I do want chocolate again...darn it all.  You win again chocolate.


Results are in...

So I haven't had time to update, but I got the results from my check up and guess what...I'm surprisingly healthy.  The doctor wished she had more patients like me ha ha.  And here I was feeling all pathetic...guess I'll go eat more chocolate...well, and keep becoming more fit because I still think I could be healthier and fitter.

So, great blood pressure - 120/80.  Great cholesterol.  I don't have all the numbers in front of me, but I want to say total was 141, HDL was 83, and triglycerides was 53...I could be totally off here.  All I remember was her saying all the numbers were great.  Thyroid test came back normal, iron levels good.  Yay, yay, yay..

Had a skin check.  Thankfully I did - turns out I have a suspect mole on my foot.  Apparently it's pretty common for the bad ones to pop up on your feet.  People don't check there frequently so they tend to go unnoticed for too long. 

So, just to be safe, I'm having it removed.  I'm also having some scar tissue on my thigh removed too.  So if anything, it's great that I got a check up just for that.

So note to all - Get a skin exam.  Check your feet.

The only thing that will suck about the whole thing is I'll have to take a week or more off of running to heal after I have them removed.  Then again, things have been so hectic this week I haven't been running like I want to (damn volatile stock market!), but I was at least good and have been walking.  And even better news, the hubs has been coming walking too after work.  Small things...small things.

Until next time,

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Sweet indulgences

There are plenty of philosophies on eating out there and I'm not an expert, so I won't tell you which one is *the best* or which one is right for you.  I personally follow a conglomeration of philosophies - picking bits from this or that to fit what I believe is best for me and what fits my lifestyle.  I'll talk more about those another day...that's not the point of this post.

What is the point of this post?  Well, I'm glad you asked!

The point is your sweet indulgence.  You know, that thing you like to do when you're happy, sad, stressed, etc. that makes you feel even better.  We all have SOMETHING that is an indulgence for us.  I'd also imagine that we all have at least one indulgence that's a food.  And I think that's completely okay.

Personally, I have at least two indulgences that are food - Chocolate and popcorn.  Yep, neither are really healthy, but that's okay. 


I LOVE chocolate.  I'm making it a label on this blog as I can totally foresee doing multiple posts talking about chocolate..because...I LOVE chocolate.  Oh..ha ha..I said that already.  Did I mention...I love chocolate?

In the scheme of things, I guess I could have a worse indulgence...because really...who, it's been a stressful day, let's go and eat a salad.  I guess we'd all be in a better place if we thought that way...but alas, no, not human nature.

So I eat some chocolate almost every day.  Yep, that's right.  Dark is my favorite.  The darker the better.  I firmly believe that it's just wonderful.  I remember reading once that there was a correlation between the amount of chocolate pregnant women eat and the happiness of the baby...well, for those of you who know G...yes, I ate a TON of chocolate while pregnant.  You can all thank me later. does this relate to fitness and being a fit mommy?

Well, as I mentioned earlier - it's okay to have indulgences as long as it's in moderation. 

I've heard other people say it as part of food philosophical talk and I buy into it - if you eat healthy the majority of the time, the rest of the time it's okay to indulge.  I've heard it called the 80/20 rule - eat good 80% of the time, and do what you want the other 20%.  I follow this for the most part.  I think that that's a healthier way to live verses telling yourself you can't eat a food that you love and then craving it like crazy and then ultimately "failing" at your diet and over indulging.  Nope, not for me.  No thanks.

So what I'm saying is - to be fit, indulge sometimes.  Just make sure the other 80% or so of your time, you are eating healthy.  So what did I eat today you ask?  Well, let me tell you!

Breakfast: Whole grain cereal with low fat milk, coffee, water
Lunch: I usually pack my lunch, but was just too tired today.  So I got the taco salad at work - beef, chicken, lettuce, rice, olives, fresh salsa, sour cream, cheese.  Oh yeah, not the healthiest I know...but I did get veggies in there by eating the lettuce and salsa...I don't usually like tacos with lettuce, so I got the added kick of lettuce and salsa.
Dinner - Turkey breast, steamed carrots, steamed broccoli, and steamed cauliflower.  Yep - 3 veggies...and colorful!

What..where's the chocolate...oh yeah, the whole indulgence thing.  Well, let me tell you about it.  They had ice cream bar at work today...My FAVORITE.  So I indulged...It's been quite the stressful week with the stock market and other events in our life.  So I got 2 scoops - chocolate and coffee.  Toppings...oh yes.  Chocolate jimmies, Oreo cookie crumbles, hot fudge, walnuts, and a cherry (had to put something healthy-ish on there right...).

Heaven in a plate.

But I took a nice long walk around the walking trails and since I ate a very healthy dinner, I don't feel guilty about it.  :)  My indulgence.  Thank you, thank you!

Until next time,

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Color my world...aka, eat your fruits and veggies

Hey, did you know that your plate is supposed to be colorful...yes, the food you eat.  Not white, bland, brown things.  Nope, I'm talking eat the rainbow.  No...skittles don't count...unless they are your indulgence item...(I'll talk about that in another post another day). 

I'm talking about eating colorful items.  The more colorful your meal, the generally more healthy it is.  However, artificially colored weird things like cheez-its and red hots don't count.  Nope...I'm talking naturally colored things.

I really like the new food "pyramid" - now called the Food Plate with the refresh in 2011:

I think it does a really good job of showing proportionally what you should eat, but also that there should be COLORS on your plate.

Since starting on my fit-venture, I've really been making an effort to eat more and more veggies.  I've been 'hiding' extra veggies in things for a while a la Deceptively Delicious style..(thanks Jessica Seinfeld!), but no, lately I've been really focusing on eating more veggies. 

Don't get me wrong...I still hide veggies...but I want to eat more veggies too.  It works out well for teaching Baby G good eating habits - eat your regular veggies with your meal and the hidden ones are a bonus (oh and by the way, yes it's normal for your grilled cheese to have butternut squash hidden in it..I promise...).

So I'm always on the look out for how I can add veggies to my meals.  The hubs isn't a big veggie fan...So when he sees this on the cutting board...he runs:

But this was part of my meal. 

So, if you want to be healthier, eat your color.

Here are some of my favorite foods and how I like to eat the rainbow:

Red: Strawberries, Red bell peppers

Orange: Carrots (hence the photo), Orange bell peppers, peaches, cauliflower

Yellow - Yellow squash (yes the photo), bananas, corn on the cob, wax beans

Green (might be my favorite color in produce land!) - Green beans, okra, summer squash, swiss chard, kale, green apples, kiwis, green grapes, broccoli, artichokes, brussel sprouts

Blue - blue is a hard color in nature, but it exists and is SUPER healthy - blue berries (just recently started liking these by the way!), blue/purple potatoes, blue corn

Purple - Grapes, potatoes, asparagus, okra, cauliflower, eggplant

Here's a great resource I found while trying to find other blue produce:

So, eat more like this (last night's dinner - note 50% veggies and colorful! - I made the food pyramid people proud):

Not this (note the lack of color...):
Until next time...

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Check up time!

So, on my quest to be a good little fit mommy, I'm following the advice you see as part of any diet or fitness plan - I'm consulting my doctor.  I'm a little bit bad because I kind of started last week before consulting a doctor, but at least it's early in the game.

So bright and early tomorrow at 8 am I'm going to the doctor's office - well, the Wellness Clinic at my work.  They are a lot easier to get into than my primary care doctor's office for a well visit.  So, I've been fasting since 8 PM so I can get blood work as part of my check up to see how healthy...or unhealthy I really am.  I'll still probably go to my primary care doctor for a visit after I get my blood work results and can get an appointment...likely 4-6 months from now...(If I'm sick, I get in same day...want to prevent sickness...4-6 months...Interesting.)

It's ironic, before I got pregnant and during my pregnancy, so many doctor's appointments and check ups.  Since then...really nothing.  So it will be interesting to see the cholesterol levels, blood pressure, etc.  Last time I had all those checked they were good, so hopefully they still are and my health level is at least good.

I'm planning to also ask some questions and advice for my diet and fitness plans (the whole consulting part...).  Last time I started running (Back in June), I got injured really early on and I want to avoid that this time.  I also want to see what (if anything) I can do as a postpartum mom to try and get rid of this 'pooch' as I've heard some fellow moms call it.

Finally, figure I might as well get a skin check while I'm there. As a fair skinned person who has had sunburns as a child, I want to get a good skin exam going so I can stay on top of that.  I worry I'll miss something you know?  Freckles definitely make skin exams hard and challenging!

So, wish me luck!

And if you are planning to start your own fitness plan, I highly recommend you do the same thing - Go for a wellness visit and talk to your doctor about your plans.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Tip #1 - Drink more water

Water, yes water. 

I've heard this a billion times.  Drink more water.  You probably have too.

Well, I'm hear to tell you about how much it REALLY does help. 

You may hear 64 ounces thrown around and myths that coffee and tea don't help.  I've been told and read otherwise from my doctor and other sources.  What you really want to focus on...are you ready for the color of your pee.  Yes.  Your pee.  Yes, you need to look in the toilet.  Don't worry...I'm not posting a picture for reference...if you're it I guess.

Your urine is a great indicator of your hydration level.  It's supposed to be almost colorless.  The darker it is...the less hydrated you are.

So next time you go, take a look.

If it's colorful, you need to drink more.  If it's not, then you're doing good.

When you feel thirsty, your already behind.  So go drink until you're no longer thirsty, and then a little more.

You're best off drinking throughout the day though.

For me, drinking water is easy.  I found a water bottle I like and I keep it near me and drink frequently.  I like water.  It may be tasteless, but it's satisfying to me.  For the hubs though...he can't drink plain water.  So I make him Crystal Lite at home and at work he makes his own lemonade out of water, lemon juice, and Splenda.  The hubs isn't healthy either...but this is a good step for him.

If you have trouble keeping hydrated, try different water bottles - that really helped me.  Or set reminders on your phone or calendar.  I actually think there's an app for it now too for those of your with smart phones.

When I'm drinking enough water, I can tell.  I find that I fall asleep better and stay asleep better.  Then I get more sleep, feel more rested, have less stress, and am happier.  Wow! 

I also have more energy, think clearer, and am more optimistic.  Yay.

And drinking water helps you feel full.  So you don't crash and eat worthless calories in the mid morning or afternoon.  No extra calories needed.  That's another good trick...if you think you're hungry, drink some water.  You might not really be hungry and the water will fill you up.  Or at least keep you from eating as much.  I've read online that they suggest drinking a full 8 ounces of water 10-15 minutes before a meal to help you eat less.  All great tips.

Now, I'm not saying go drink gallons of won't do you any good.  You'll spend way too much time looking at your pee.  Drink enough to keep more urine near colorless.  I think 64 ounces easily satisfies that for most people.  I actually drink closer to 48 or 50 ounces most days because I eat a lot of food that contains a lot of water and I like iced coffee.

So, challenge #1 for anyone following my advice...go drink some water.  And repeat.  Until your pee is almost colorless or colorless.

Until next time!

Intro & Background

Hi.  My name is Amber.  And I'm an unfit Mommy.

Woah woah woah.  Now before you go and call DCYF, let me clarify.  I don't mean unfit like I leave my kid locked in the dog crate while I run errands, let her play with knives, or some how lose her and don't report it.

No, I mean I couldn't run a half mile without stopping, don't eat as healthy as I should, and could be taking way better care of myself.  Yes, I am physically unfit.  I'm an unfit mommy.

And, I want to change that.  Not only do I want to change, I'm going to.  So that's what this is about.  My journey.  My tips, ideas, advice, trials, etc. to become a healthier mommy.

It really started last week.  See, every now and then I get infrequent hormonal spins and this just happened to be one of them.  And the focus of this emotional roller coaster was me.  And just how unhappy I was with myself - physically, mentally, and emotionally.

I could do what some people do and loathe in my own self pity.  Or, I could do what I was raised to do and up and do something about it.  So that's what I decided to do and that's what this is about.

But, I also figured there's a lot of people out there like me, who might be able to benefit from my tips, ideas, advice...or just might find reading about my trials and tribulations funny.  Either way enjoy.

As far as background's how I got to be in my situation.

I've always been a relatively healthy eater - I was raised that way.  I like most vegetables and fruit and I'm not very picky.  I also have genetics on my side since my family is made up of mostly pretty thin framed people.  We're also athletic and hard working.

So I never really had weight problems per say.  My body seemed to do things to prevent that.  When I gained a few pounds, I'd usually get sick and then lose them and then be fine.

But, life goes on and things change.  As I got older, I ate more junk...more in general.  When it was basketball season, I'd work out a lot, be super physically fit.  Then in the off season, I'd lag.  Then I graduated high school and went to college.  Moved out.

So I got busier...less outside time.  Less time to work out.  I started working...eating more crap.  So I got less fit.  Less healthy.  Gained some weight.

By all measures on the scale, I was still a healthy weight.  On the higher end of a healthy weight.

Got married.  Worked.  5 Year plan.

Decide to have a baby.  That's when things really change.  See, I was smart enough to realize I needed to be at my healthiest to have a baby.  So I pledged to lose some weight.  And I did.  Healthier eating, portion control, more walking.  Small stuff.  But it worked (I'll get into those details more later).

I lost the weight I wanted and almost got to my goal weight.  Then I got pregnant.

Whoo hoo.  Doesn't matter that I gain weight...I'm supposed to right?  Yeah..well I gained 45 pounds.  I ate healthy and then ate ice cream...every day.  And it was good.  Not going to lie.

But then I had G.  And was left with the body I have now...significantly changed from where it was.  I've lost that 45 pounds...but I'm left with a something that I'm not happy with. 

See, throughout my life I can't claim to have *loved* my body...but I didn't hate it like some people do.  Sure I would have wanted a flatter stomach...but I was thin and had some self confidence. 

Now...I feel so weird.  I don't feel good in my body.  I wish I could have been prepared for this more.  I guess I heard your body changes, but I didn't expect this.  I saw a website when I was probably 9 or 10 months postpartum about the body of a mother.  I wish I had seen this before I had the baby so I was better prepared.  Check it out:

Alas, I did not so 16 months postpartum, I'm still trying to adjust.  Accept the things you cannot change and change the things you cannot accept.  So, I'm going to try and change some of those things I don't like...we'll see how it goes.  I guess even if I fail, I'll still be healthier and that's a success story in and amongst itself right?

If you've read this far.  Awesome. 

See you soon!