Saturday, March 17, 2012

Finding more time for "me"

One of the key things I still really struggle with is finding "me" time.  There's work, then come home and there's chores, watching G, being a good wife, making sure Joe has time for himself - I always seem to put myself last.  I've gotten better of at least thinking of things I want to do for myself, but I still fail miserable at actually asking for help or time so I can actually do what I want.

I think a lot of it stems from my problems asking for help.  I was raised to be self sufficient and asking for help could be a weakness.  I also put the needs of everyone else ahead of mine - see, in my mind asking them to watch G so I can do something is imposing on them, so it's always a huge conflict.

That's one of the biggest barriers towards me finding the time to exercise and do a lot of the things that would help me be healthier.  I'd love to run more, but how can I find the time?  When I'm not so crazy at work I run there because it helps me get rid of that conflict - but I don't always have the time - especially lately.  But then there's the stuff I cannot do at work - more mental relaxation - get a pedicure, go to the spa, go shopping, just have down time - read a book.  Or - oh my goodness - all the crafts and art I used to do - crocheting, writing, drawing.  I miss all that.  I think about it a lot, but just have so much trouble asking for the help so I can have me time. 

But I'm working on it.  This week I asked my neighbor to watch G on Monday so I could go for a run.  I took the dog - dual purpose - he got exercise, I got exercise.  It worked well.  I also asked my fantastic daycare provider if G could stay a little late on Friday so I can go out with some coworkers to celebrate a team mate's successful passing of his financial licensing exam.  Old Amber would have just said, well Joe already asked about going out, so I'll just pick up G and not go out...but I took the time to ask for me.

For those of your around me who might happen to read this - if I ask you for help - even the smallest things - you don't even realize how big of a thing that is for me.  It's big.  To you it may seem like the most trivial thing ever that I'm asking for help with - but it takes a lot for me to ask - I promise.

Any tips/suggestions for things you do to find "me" time?


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